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46: Out & About pt.1: Never Married

Updated: May 9, 2025



Where did the phrase “coming out of the closet” come from? Is history gay? And if it is, why is gay history a secret? This week’s podcast episode looks at famous gay people in history. Including gay Kings of England and America’s first gay president, at least potentially. Grant and Maia also take on the controversy of learning gay history. Explore the perks of being a spinster. Before ending with a tour of modern gay history in the United States. They say he was never married, a confirmed bachelor, and famous for his dinner parties. A queer history, now out!


From weekend bar mishaps to the hidden layers of “coming out,” Grant and Maia take you on a lively ride through queer history’s best-kept secrets. They trade banter on bookstore obsessions, hyperfixation at work, and late-night escapades—then pivot to “never married” monarchs, a bachelor president, and the many ways LGBTQ+ stories slipped into the shadows. Equal parts hilarious and eye-opening, it’s a whirlwind look at how “out and about” has always meant so much more. They dig into the coded language of early gay communities, the unexpected role of spinster neighbors, and reveal how a mid-century “Lavender Scare” still echoes in today’s battles for representation. Expect comedic tangents, historical aha-moments, and fresh insight into why these hidden narratives matter.


Chapters/Key takeaways to listen for

  • [00:00:00] Catch-Up

  • [00:01:20] Banter & Bookstores: Experiences with bookstores and personal preferences on secondhand stores and modern bookstores

  • [00:17:16] Personal Updates: Daily routines and the challenges of balancing work and personal life

  • [00:21:38] Out & About: Overview of queer history, the origins of “coming out,” and the concept of “never married”

  • [00:34:03] Royals Rumors: Speculations on King Richard the Lionheart, Philip of France, and James I of England

  • [00:45:10] The Only Bachelor President: Questions raised about America’s “secretly gay” presidency regarding James Buchanan’s tight bond with William Rufus King 

  • [01:00:00] Lavender Scare & Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: The mid-century crackdown on alleged gay government workers, and the later military policy forcing LGBTQ+ people into hiding

  • [01:14:45] A Search for Gay History: Why so many queer narratives have been erased or denied

  • [01:28:00] Wrapping It Up: A reflection on how society’s “otherness” fosters both struggle and creativity, underscoring the value of hidden histories


Quotes:

  • "There's not an emotion left that you could experience that a song hasn't actually been written about already." - Grant Thomas  

  • "Gay people have for centuries been drawn to communities and people that were safest for them, creating freer, more open environments to challenge the status quo." - Grant Thomas  

  • "Modern gay people are regularly called upon to justify our existence, to prove that we aren't just misguided or in a phase." - Grant Thomas  

  • "Your identity doesn't super matter in the terms of who you want to be, right? Like, yes, it will affect your experience and your perception of the world around you, but it's not. It shouldn't be your defining characteristic." - Maia Warner


Connect with Us

Love a good laugh? Stay in the loop with the Well, I Laughed Podcast! Hit up wellilaughed.com for all the fun, throw some love our way on Patreon at https://patreon.com/WellILaughedPodcast, and send us your wildest listener stories at wellilaughedpod@gmail.com—because let’s be real, we know you’ve got some!


Listener stories, topic ideas, or anything else you think belongs on the show—drop it all at wellilaughed.com/contact. We’re all ears—and laughs!


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46: Uncovering Queer History's Hidden Stories

46: Queer Identities in Historical Context



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